Well, Blake's first soccer game was on Saturday. I was working the first shift on Saturday and Cassell was coming to relieve me in the afternoon. I also had our new girl on the schedule but she got sick around 11:30...so I was stuck. I had to miss the game. I also had to leave the duty of TAKING A PICTURE to my husband. Do you see any pictures? If I could draw I would draw a picture of Blake in his new highlighter green jersey with his soccer ball.
Well onto the bittersweet of it all...Little David Beckham scored his first goal. Derrek called right after the game to tell me and I was so happy. So very happy. But way more sad that I missed it. I had to sit in the back of the store for about 20 minutes trying to compose myself. I called Blake's mom so I could talk to him and tell him congratulations and all that but for a five year old the moment was gone. And he wasn't all that impressed that it was just work keeping me away from his soccer game (I don't miss much of that stuff).
Of course, I realize a five year old isn't going to console me or let me know it's okay but I really wish he could have! More than anything, my goal with the kids is to not disappoint them if I can help it. If I say I'll be somewhere, I like to be there. I try not to make commitments I can't keep and communicate with them all the time. Just so they know what to expect. I feel like it's the least I can do since they live in two different homes and have to go back and forth. Everything happened so fast on Saturday and I tried to get in touch with him to tell him (through Ashley) that I wouldn't be there. She got the message but decided not to pass it on to her little brother. Probably some other important texting got in the way. Anyway, I'm sure with all the excitement on Saturday, my absence was not really a big deal in his world (I mean, come on, his mom, dad sister and grandparents were all there) but there are few feelings worse than letting down a little kid...even in the slightest (or even when you imagine you let them down). Again, he probably didn't even notice and my tears were much more about just missing out on such a cool big moment (that could have been captured on film and posted to my blog for the world to see).
However, there will be another goal scored and I will definitely be there.
1 comment:
Well for crying out loud, that makes me so sad! I would suggest that next time, you just put a post-it on the door and close up shop! I'm new to mommyville, but I have a suspicion that the sick feeling you get in your stomach when you miss one of those precious moments is what makes you truly appreciate the moments you don't miss.
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