I decided to throw Derrek a surprise 40th birthday party. If he had any idea how to read my blog or log in to his own facebook, I MIGHT be worried about him finding out but I'm pretty sure the Internet is the least likely to blow my cover.
You know, I'm always whining about how behind I am but how much time I waste but I'm distracted but kids need me but Derrek has to work late blah blah blah. Well, as soon as I emailed out the invitation to Derrek's party (by the way, you're totally invited. unless you know you're not someone that would actually want to see. Please don't crash if that's the case. all other Derrek lovers that Derrek loves can check out the invitation and party info HERE: If you're coming, please register and rsvp on Paperless Post.
At the bottom of the invitation (obviously you've read it now), is a link (that doesn't work) to, what I'm calling, Derrek's Ink Fund. HERE is the working link to more info about that.
Enough about him. Back to me. So I'm always whining and annoying myself and then I decide to throw this party. Great idea. He deserves it. Good job me. Then, we get a letter from TABC that they're gonna stop in for a "quick audit" this coming TUESDAY. This means, I have to officially catch up at work. Excuses won't work now. I feel like I'm asking Derrek for help when I say, "Derrek, I really need to work late tonight. Can you handle the kids?" but apparently, I wasn't clear the last few nights. What I'm supposed to say is "I need you to take care of the kids. I need to not be bothered about any of it so I can work." Something like that anyway. I guess I shouldn't ask him if he can, I have to tell him he has to. I'm totally over the whole "guys should just know what you want & need without telling them." I know with certainty that is NOT the case but wouldn't it be amazing if asking nicely got the job done? Without comments, like "why can't you get all your work done during the day anyway?" ? I mean, obviously, it must be my fault that trying to be nice and respectful is delivered in such a way to invite really offensive accusations - many times disguised in simple questions. Sneaky. Three years ago, I'd be a soppy mess on the floor horrified that my husband doesn't even "know me". Luckily, now, I know it's not my job to twist and turn to be someone that he doesn't insult. His insults are his problem and come out most frequently when he's had a rough day at work. Today, he literally looks like he was hit by a truck. When Cash is exhausted, he's not very nice either.
I'm adding a button for the Ink Fund. I really want this for him. I want him to feel the love of so many that know him coming together to present this gift. I do think this is something that he needs to get out of a little rut that he's in. As much as he tries to be unlovable and unsociable, his friends and family are everything to him. We see a smart, talented, kind, former pretty boy with a warm contagious laugh and welcoming voice. Hopefully, a huge show of support and love will be the boost to see himself as he should. To dream again. To get healthier (both of us!) and to freaking pull his panties out of his butt sometimes. And I really want this for me. He'll see his new tats and be forced to think all of these people that love him that he doesn't even realize totally love him and love him just as he is. And he'll probably tear up thinking about the overwhelming wave of adoration on a daily basis, at least for a little while. THEN, he'll remember it was me that orchestrated the whole thing and be my little puppy.
It's okay. You can laugh.
Ha! Read the title of this post again. See I totally had another idea for this but my crazy mind and fingers (that are supposed to be working because of said husband home with said children!) have totally derailed. I'm sure it means I have a special talent. It probably takes a kind of genius to start out addressing her own excuses and turn that into an all out vent about her hard-working husband that is turning 40 next week.
DANGIT! Just realized that I have these big plans for a puppy-like husband because of my awesomeness but I have to finish this work BEFORE I can focus on the food and decorations and fun stuff at the party (pretty much EVERY detail except getting the word out) so my chances of "awesomeness" fade with every word I type that shave precious moments off my catching up months of data & journal entries that are stealing time from the party planning diva that I know is hiding in there somewhere. Who's lost?
There. I blogged. Whatever.
